It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
