her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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