She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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