How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
