I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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