right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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