You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize