I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
