waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The adults are the big ones right?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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