the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
