Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
