are you still at the devil's house?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize