i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
