What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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