Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
