Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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