sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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