I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize