Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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