Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
