i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize