I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
