I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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