why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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