You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
