I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
