I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
