I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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