I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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