I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am full of burrito and curiosity
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
