Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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