was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
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