wanna go halves on a baby?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
