I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
