She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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