Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
