You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
