...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
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She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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