I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
