I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
