It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We are all done wearing pants today
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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