I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
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its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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