im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize