I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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