Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize