booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
