Non-Jews are for practice
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
