ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All I want is dick and wine.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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