Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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