found the other keg... it's in the tree
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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