Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
