Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
