hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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