you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
