Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
