My friends, they love my intelligence
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
