I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Are my feet made of real feet?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
