she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
