I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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