My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
