mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
