well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
