Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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