i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
