Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
