I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
