My room smells like vodka and shame
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
