so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
