I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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