He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
